ROME, ITALY—An anonymous source at the G-20 summit told reporters President Biden is officially “out of suits” following his latest “bathroom incident” at the Vatican on Friday.
A source who was purportedly “way too close” to the situation when it transpired said, “Let’s just say the President ain’t gettin’ that suit back.”
Biden is now down to his “comfy clothes,” but the source said Biden is OK with wearing his favorite outfit for the remainder of the G-20 summit in Rome and the subsequent COP26 United Nations climate conference in Glasglow, Scotland, which starts November 1.
“Let me just set the record straight: The president likes to feel relaxed when attending conferences on important matters that impact the U.S. and the rest of the world. When he’s comfortable, he’s sharpest, so it’s actually a good thing for America that this happened,” Jen Psaki tweeted.
A rumor was swirling around Rome Sunday that the “bathroom incident” had something to do with his Depend® undergarment not working as advertised.
The source vehemently denied the president was culpable for the matter, but did confirm Biden expressed his displeasure with the company. The source said Depend® was on the president’s “naughty list” since this is the “third time he had a defected undergarment.”
The president purportedly warned the company they better “fix their product soon,” or he would be “done” with the brand if there was “just one more incident.”
The anonymous source also said they did “everything in their power” to keep the situation “under control,” which included cutting the live feed on the Popecam and pulling the fire alarm to get every reporter and photographer out of the Vatican before they “realized something happened.”
“I just thought there was a main sewer line break,” one photographer told The Times.
“I guess word still got out somehow,” the anonymous source said. “I wonder if the Pope mentioned it on Twitter?” they mused.
The president said he is ready to “forgive and forget” and to “put the situation” behind him in order to “focus” on important matters like how best to transfer wealth to green energy companies and what to do with “climatephobes.”
When asked if there was any other comment he would like to make, Biden said, “You see, there’s a practical reason I normally wear dark suits in public. It’s not just because I look good in navy blue and black.”