WASHINGTON, D.C.—Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was in the middle of saying Biden doesn’t know what the heck he is doing with the economy and predicting the supply chain crisis will continue well into next year when CNN host Jake Tapper noticed something odd.
“Um, are you doing OK?” a disgusted but constipated-looking Tapper asked Buttigieg at one point in the interview.”
“Yeah, I feel great, Jake,” a happy Buttigieg responded. “Why wouldn’t I? I’ve had the last two months off learning how to breastfeed…”
That’s when the transportation secretary looked down and noticed something on his blue blazer.
“Oh my goodness, Jake. This is so embarrassing. I can’t believe this. I must have forgotten my nursing pads,” a blushing Buttigieg said.
“Chasten warned me this might happen, but I told him I’d be fine. It’s not that noticeable, is it? Should we continue?”
“Um, it’s your call,” a still disgusted-looking Tapper said.
“OK, where was I? Oh yes. We shouldn’t expect to see any help in the supply chain crisis for quite some time. I mean, with so many people making so much money, the economy roaring back the way it is, it’s no wonder we’re having shortages. This economy is on fire,” a glowing but lactating Buttigieg said.
“I’m sorry, what? I totally missed what you said, Pete. Your boobs keeps leaking, and it’s really distracting me.”
“No, it’s fine,” Buttigieg said, trying to brush away the leakage. “It’ll dry up in a few minutes. . . . Nope, ya know what? I gotta go. I’m starting to smell spoiled milk here, Jake. Sorry about that,” he said ripping the microphone off.
“No, that’s OK. It could totally happen to any nursing male who just had twins,” a very understandable Jake Tapper said.
Tapper finished the segment by promising new, breaking details about the Trump-Russia collusion scandal right after the break.